i would punch a child for taco bell
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
