well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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