We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
