4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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