I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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