Dude my mom stole all your condoms
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
