He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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