My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
