Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
