..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
