coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
