I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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