I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
