You're my little dorito
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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