I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
