They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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