Your tits are I can't wait for
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
