do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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