Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
