Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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