I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
