I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
