obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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