Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
