i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
