weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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