so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize