And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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