YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
