Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
