kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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