Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
