He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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