You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Text me some of your sweat
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