Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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