If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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