Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
