exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
