I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
