I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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