He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
