I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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