the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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