you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
