i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
