Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
