I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
