I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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