Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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