i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
