It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
