His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
